Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
