Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?

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  (646): Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why? http://tfl.nu/31ky
  Replies (7) Good night (615) Bad night (901)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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  (647): fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack http://tfl.nu/ix39
  Replies (21) Good night (1146) Bad night (657)
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  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
  Replies (14) Good night (4637) Bad night (667)
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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (6064) Bad night (730)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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  (228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk
  Replies (16) Good night (5677) Bad night (639)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

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  (718): you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass" http://tfl.nu/foy3
  Replies (22) Good night (1130) Bad night (4596)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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  (403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5
  Replies (8) Good night (5820) Bad night (1428)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal

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  (251): Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal http://tfl.nu/vqqo
  Replies (12) Good night (2901) Bad night (994)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor

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  (630): She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor http://tfl.nu/iwft
  Replies (7) Good night (2193) Bad night (1017)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.

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  (505): Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car. http://tfl.nu/bc5h
  Replies (1) Good night (1774) Bad night (821)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

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  (610): Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates. http://tfl.nu/faj1
  Replies (5) Good night (2580) Bad night (690)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.

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  (317): SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON. http://tfl.nu/7e01
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (424)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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  (973): Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us http://tfl.nu/2son
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (243)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.

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  (813): I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes. http://tfl.nu/ikkg
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (256)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  best eviction party ever.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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  (908): best eviction party ever. (610): it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party. http://tfl.nu/o2dt
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (324)

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