This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.