I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did you just see the Batmobile???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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