you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i barfeds in our rink
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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