so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
