Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
