I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
