Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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