He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
