Me too!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
