Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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