So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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