Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I FOUND THE LEGS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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