it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
