P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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