Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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