we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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