what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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