umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Small penises have feelings too.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
