As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
