escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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