you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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