I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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