I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
nutella sex= disaster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
