How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
