why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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