he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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