I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
