what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
