just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize