there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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