You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
