discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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