A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
