I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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