i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
