if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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