Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
zippers are such a cool invention
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
