Are we in a gay sports bar?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
