moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
