We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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