Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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