a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize