So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
they're like a gay fantastic four
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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