But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
