Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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