Where are you?
In a non slutty way
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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