And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
