So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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