I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
