I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she looked like the before picture.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
