Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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