yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
barbara walters just said penis...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
