All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
