I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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