Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
