do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
