i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
