Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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