Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
