Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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