dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
