U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
