OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
